Lessons Learned: Interviews

by carlina scalf

After studying female authenticity and bravery through the examination of four in-person interviews and two memoirs, I found it crucial to process the information I had learned through self-reflection. What follows in this section are four overarching lessons I gleaned from each interview I conducted for the Project Brave Woman thesis. While I learned so much more from each interviewee than four lessons, this format provided a helpful and concise way to reflect on the ways I can apply lessons from each woman’s story to my own upcoming transition from college to adulthood. I hope these reflections demonstrate the personal value these interviews held for me when thinking about female bravery and authenticity during times of transition and, in turn, will demonstrate the value this kind of story-sharing between women could create on a broader scale.

 
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Four Takeaways From Char Schuster:

  1. It takes courage to do the thing that you know is right for you, but that other people may not understand. Find that courage and do it anyway. The opinions of other people should not dictate the decisions you make about your life.

  2. Be open to small moments of change. You never know when choosing to say “yes” to seeing someone else’s perspective will change your life or outlook.

     

  3. Keeping things in perspective is crucial to mental well-being. When life challenges arise, keep moving forward instead of getting lost in negative thought cycles. Remember that it’s OK to change your mind.

  4. If women make sure to feed their souls in some authentic way, if they keep their personal dreams and goals alive, then they have the good life they’re always looking for.

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Four Takeaways From Monica Scalf:

  1. Detach your “life’s purpose” from concrete titles or roles. While those specifics can serve a function, if your overall purpose is just to keep learning and growing, then you’re always on a positive, forward-moving path. You leave yourself and your goals space to grow.

  2. Relationships are one of the most important pieces of life. Investing in relationships, friendships, and just getting to know other people will provide a satisfaction that other sources can’t provide.

  3. If/when you decide to become a parent, know that all mothers are constantly figuring it out as they go along. Knowing when to push and when to pull back, as well as being able to apologize to your children, are key parts of parenting.  

  4. Authenticity is honoring and acknowledging the things and people that bring you alive. Identify those things, and then find ways to prioritize them in your everyday life.

 

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Four Takeaways From Madeleine Robling:

  1. Knowing people honestly, and being honest with other people, is crucial to authenticity. It is better to be upfront with people about who you are, even if it causes more discomfort, than to live dishonestly or without acknowledging your true self.

  2. It is important to embrace your flaws as you’re making brave decisions. Owning our vulnerabilities is one of the bravest things we can do.

  3. The cultural definition of bravery should shift to emphasize not physical strength, but emotional strength, feminine strength, and communal strength. Making space for your own voice and the voices of others is an underestimated and pioneering act of bravery.  

  4. Don’t do it on your own! Prioritize friendships and reach out to other people often.

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Four Takeaways From Maren Orchard:

  1. Sharing the vulnerable versions of ourselves and our stories can build up a sense of not only our individual experiences, but the broader, connected experiences we share with other women, which gives us insight into the universal experience of “being a woman.”

  2. Change is never easy. But, every time you go through a life change, you are more informed about what to expect in the future. It is crucial to remember the healing and growth you achieved when facing challenges in the past so that those accomplishments can inform your perspective in the present.  

  3. It does us no good to invalidate our feelings or experiences. Even when time changes our perspective, it doesn’t change how hard the experience felt when we went through it. That experience and those feelings are a part of who we are.

  4. Part of authenticity is constantly grappling with the different versions of yourself, particularly your internal self, external self, and digital/online self. Being aware of the differences between your public and private personas can help you understand better who you truly are, and can help you reconcile these different facets of your personality so that you are acting with authenticity in all areas of life.